The Difficulties Single Fathers Face

The Difficulties Single Fathers FaceOnce a famous Ger macrocosm caricaturist and poet Wilhelm Busch (1832 1908) said that becoming a father isnt difficult, tho its very difficult to become a father. This phrase screw be taken in different ways, only if at the moment it is as topical as never before, since crucial kindly changes and shifts state the question of pargonnthood for men in absolutely new light. The matter is, to a greater extent and more men these days engender themselves superstar fathers, and have to view new reality, bandage the smart set is not actu completelyy ready to accept them appropriately. This problem is attracting more and more assistance of public and specialists, but still thither is not enough research of the matter and fathers still essenti each(prenominal)y take pain to prove their rights single dads remain a poorly represented group in official statistics, politics programmes and communities, as Sandra Gruescu (2010, p. 19) states. The to picality of the subject and its narrow presentation in scholar studies has motivated us to focus tutelage on this problem in order to find out whether single fathers re entirelyy face several(prenominal)(prenominal) problems in tyke fostering and their personal life and what ways out thither atomic number 18 for them to withstand things better. In this way the object of out research is lone stock and single fatherhood of capital of the United Kingdom is the main subject. To move from the offshoot to the latter we be going to use deductive method. Apart from that, as for methodology to be applied, we shall use surveying and case study in order to stimulate schooling at first hand, content-analyses in order to understand what has already been found out and what the probable holes of studies atomic number 18. To set aside that, we shall study local, national and partly international press, official reports and local overviews. Then we shall be able to addition up theoret ical and empirical data and make shoemakers lasts on what are the modern conditions for men kick upstairsing children on their own.In this way, tasks we are going to undertake are the following to study general materials on single parenthood single out the issue of lone fathers, especially those living in capital of the United Kingdom synthesize fragments gathered and give critical summary involve the comments of interviewees and finally to tally up the situation. wiz PARENTHOOD IN TERMS AND FIGURESIn this paragraph we are to find out what is single parenthood, where it takes its grow and where results in. On the whole, as for the terms, a lone parent is one who takes interest of a child (or children) all on his or her own, without participation of another parent within home. Divorce or death of the better half are among the main reasons of growing a child only when adoption, abuse or abandonment, and artificial insemination. A parent who takes a conscious decision to grow u p a child on his own from the very beginning is also called a choice parent.All in all, as calculated in 2009, there are 1.9 million sole parents in the UK. In total they bring up approximately three million children. By Labour Market Review (2006), cited by Charlotte Philby (2010), each forth family is a family of one parent (among them about 8-11 % are male). Among those, 13% are under 25 years of age.Those parents who arrest with the child most of the time are called primary carers, and those who skillful visit children are called secondary carers. By statistics, more than 90 percent of primary carers in the United Kingdom are women, and it goes without saying that all the assistance from the government, tax credits and benefits are given to them. Still, as the General National Survey has fancyn, more than a half of single-parented households live below the poverty line. On average, it takes about 600 pounds per year to raise a child, and about 10,500 pounds to grow a child f rom birth till full age.CALAMITIES TO OVERCOMEExcept financial, there is a great number of long-term brotherly and psychological, physical and mental health influences on twain ex-spouses and children after divorce. It may be destructive or loyal, and the strength of loss depends on the extent of niggardliness between children and each of the parents, on parents characteristics like age, education level, occupation and income, on relations left between parents, on visitation rights prescribed for the secondary carer, and the circumstances children grow in on the whole (Coombs, 1991). Half-abandoned children are more like to experience behavioural problems, and Augustine Kposawa (2003) adds a schedule of main consequences higher risks of clinical depression, greater need for formal psychiatric assistance, and higher rates of suicide among men.As any other penetrable group, sole parents receive a kind of financial backing from the government, from non-profit organizations and on-l ine resources as well. These days there are more and more forums, web-sites, social networks, blogs and professional advice services where sole parents can divvy up their problems and look for decisions together. A good example is the Gingerbread National Charity for Single Parents.The development of such programs bets to be obvious for the first sight, but in reality the issue is not so well-defined. The matter is, there is overmuch see over single parenthood on the one hand, government assistance is a normal social practice. But on the other hand, it turns out that the government itself is supporting the phenomenon which is against the decree itself while sole parenthood doesnt correspond to the traditional moral values and family standards and it seems, there can be no sound society with unsound families. Thus present British Prime Minister Mr. Cameron is rather to encourage marriages by cl tax breaks than take care of objectionable sole parents living under the breadline (R owling, 2010). The police of the Tories has of course risen a good deal of criticism Do you not think that is discrimination against somebody who pays their tax bill every month, and someone who is going to find that my friend down the road who has managed to find Mr Right gets away with paying less tax than I do, just because I am items of life my children by myself? (Tapsfield, 2009 p. 15). Single parents are pushed to feel second-class.But why are we now there? with the 20th century the amount of households with single parent was rather low, but during last three decades figures began to grow rapidly. Basically, these changes have their historical, social and demographic reasons. Firstly, women began to feel more confident in their rights and freedoms, and more and more of them came to the conclusion that living on their own has more advantages than living in an unhappy wedlock. They began to receive more support from the official structures and the attitude of the society bec ame not as reprehensible as it used to be. Fresh figures show that 57 per cent choose the single life as they say it is more rewarding, Steve Doughty (2010, p. 30) writes. stave the civilized world has been experiencing crucial shifts in gender social roles. More and more women prefer race to family and under the tension of business life more and more women are loosing their maternal instinct while paternal one on the contrary has been gaining force.FATHERS IN THE MIDDLENow we are to sharpen our watchfulness at a narrower group presented by sole fathers. It was investigated that more than 3 million men are classed as economically inactive, living on benefits or the black economy (Arendell, 1995 p. 112). It is also an example of social changes, but still many of men either successful or not very face obligation and will to be primary carers for their children Active involvement in the day-to-day lives of children is no eight-day the exclusive domain of mothers. Fathers are being encouraged to build closer interpersonal relationships with their children. As a result, many fathers have found that being a parent is richly rewarding and they are not willing to assume the role of weekend father just because a marriage relationship has turn (Bartz and Witcher, 1978 p. 2). According to the statistics, family heads are divorced or separated fathers (8.4 per cent), never-married fathers (1.5 per cent), and widowers (0.9 per cent).In the United Kingdom there are 210,000 male sole parents (8-11 %) rising up 280,000 dependent children. In London specifically, by National Statistics (2006), there are 16,473 households headed by single males. In other words, each ninth single parent is father. lag there are 180,366 male secondary cares also identified as absent fathers. In the borough exclusively there are 5,710 households headed by single parents with 934 children living with their fathers (Ehrlich, 2008).SPECIFIC DIFFICULTIES FACED BY SINGLE FATHERSIt goes without s aying that lone fathers face generally the same problems as lone mothers, but there are some particular troubles too. First and foremost, it is already difficult to prove their right on the child, as courts traditionally privilege mothers. And even if men win, their exes often dont leave them in peace, as they are more natural to be with a kid. The society has much less trust and approval for men. Nevertheless, men can be internal for developing language skills, developing awareness of rules and boundaries and being a positive male role ideal in the childs life (Risman, 1986 p. 96).Further on, it is considered that financial problems are less spread among men, but in fact they receive much less flexibility at their workplace and face negative attitude of supervisory. They are taken as awkward while it is not commonly for fathers to be so involved and faithful. interim is the most important thing for a child, his or her love cant be bought with money, therefore a lone father has t o balance between financial obligations and emotional relations. If they go straight back to work, theyre tough like bad parents if they dont, theyre called benefit scroungers, Jane Ahrends explains (Philby, 2010 p. 15).Moreover, it is not a secret for a father that a child needs a womanhood to see a female behavioural model and to provide care, but it is rather hard for a lone father to get married again a woman is likely to avoid a man with children, as their mother is often there too maybe, the girl doesnt like children at all or wants to have her own first and better to share all those first experiences with her husband she doesnt want to be initially judged as a mother and she doesnt want to share her husbands attention with someone else (Miller, 2007). Yet, for sole fathers on the first place are the problems with their exes with whom, for the sake of their children, they should co-work effectively notwithstanding all misunderstanding.Then, what is even more striking, sole fathers should be ready to cope with emotional distress of children who can have low self-esteem, feel different from others and consequently have problems with socialization. Especially it is hard when a man fosters a girl. He should sustain his healthy guides status and escape equality in order to keep balance.Its easy to become angry and depressed when loving and committed fathers have to prove they are just that, Peter Ehrlich (2008, p. 18) admits.THE MEANS TO WITHSTANDIn fact, there are special support groups for those who bring their children alone no matter female or male. But certainly there are more women who into the tidy sum feel more natural and free to express their feelings and emotions. For most of men that method is not available.Versus the stillness of the officials, single fathers are now actively uniting their forces. And one of especially active representatives of this social group, William McGranaghan has latterly organized a special service Dads House withi n the project Homes for Families and Fathers (Hoff) specially for their companions-in-arms where they can get in touch, spend time with their offspring and acquire some useful skills like cooking. By summer 2010 it has had already 1,400 active members. There are other support groups as well, e.g. the one of Pete Wrighton, where men fix to talk and to be honest.CONCLUSIONSo, the things are not as bad as they may seem on the face of it. However, we have found out that the topic strongly needs further consideration. The attention of employers and officials should be attracted to the issue, and social stereotypes should be discarded gradually. On the one hand, it is hard to disagree with the governmental insurance intended to encourage healthy family structures which seem to be more reliable and stable. But the matter is, that is a deceptive impression to date, and, if accepted and assisted, lone fathers are able to bring up much healthier, much happier and much more perspective citiz ens of future, than two-parented, but unhappy and destructive families where a child receives no care but copies wrong behavioural models. These issues should be deeply learnt by family psychologists and scholars as well. All in all, single fathers problems in todays London are many, and they should be thoroughly examined by sociologists, demographers, psychologists and pedagogues. In that way they are practicable to be solved and unloaded.